weddings?

Weddings are a new thing for me. It never ocurred to me to think about the fact that I will be asked to do death bed weddings and such. It's a touchy subject for a lot of people. I know my coworkers insist that every couple needs marital counseling and so they won't do it. My thought is that if someone is willing to marry you when you are dying that is something. Talk about in sickness and in health. The important part is to assertain if it is about them or about money. That is difficult. The other thing to consider is why is it so urgent. If the person is very sick and will die, but not immenently then it makes more sense to say okay wait. If the person is likely to never leave the hospital it makes sense to work with them. The UMEA actually encourages chaplains to think about these things and be willing to perform these.

Now the next thing to consider is: I work with a majority of religions. Am I just supposed to marry just Christians? Do I believe that marrying others is part of my appointment? My appointment is very unique. It seems to me that if someone asks me to marry them in my hospital, in my parish then I am obligated, no called to be with them in that. The anointing and the calling placed on me is to show God's love and sometimes that is going to them in the place they are in. That means working with them as long as I do not compromise myself.

I wonder if I view marriage differently since I am not married. I see it as a sacred union and the grace of God being bestowed upon a couple bringing them in to a sacred bond that should never be broken.

ah these are ponderings and like I say it's not that simple. There are so many complexities.

words I never seem to listen to

Has God ever sent someone your way to say the exact thing you need at the exact moment you need it? I guess that is something God does often. Most people call it a coincidence. I term it Divine intervention. Afterall God usually knows when I'm about to do something stupid.

I was working late on Friday and one of the volunteers was there. He prayed a mighty prayer before coming out of the office to visit people on the floors. He didn't know I was there until he stepped out. I told him about a patient who needed him and he stopped me. He told me that he could tell I have a sweet sincere spirit. He said he could also tell I was worrying about something. I don't know if I'm that transparent or if it was just a prophetic thing. I kind of believe it was Divine sight because I was smiling and doing my little happy dance that I do in front of people I don't know well (no it's not literally a dance for those of you who know that it very well could be). He stopped me and said that if God could take care of the sparrows then God could take care of me.

Maybe I should listen. After all I've heard the message now well over a hundred or so times throughout this summer.

Yet the worry comes. I don't know where it comes from and certainly I don't know how to stop it. I just know that I worry. Sometimes life just feels like it is too much to handle and yet day after day I wake up to face another day. I never know what that day will hold. It could be anywhere from a mundane day in the office to multiple victims who have be shot. Don't get me wrong I LOVE what I do. It's just that it is hard and it is hard sometimes to separate the lives of these people I serve from my own life and the lives of the people I love. I know that God sees each sparrow and so will take care of the ones around me, but goodness knows I want to see where I'm flying/falling to. Cest la vie I guess I have to trust God. I just wish it were simple.